Mistakes = Opportunities: How To Embrace Positive Thinking In Your Homeschool
Join Amy as she talks about how mistakes don’t have to be a source of frustration and anxiety in your homeschool (and life). Instead, mistakes can be powerful opportunities for growth.
Whether you’re struggling with perfectionism or want to help your kids embrace mistakes as part of the learning journey, this episode has the tips and strategies to help you shift your mindset.
Amy sprinkles in examples and positive quotes about transforming mistakes into opportunities, too!
🌟 Key Topics Covered:
- What is a Homeschool Mindset?
A quick review of mindset and its impact on homeschooling, including a deep dive into growth mindset versus fixed mindset. Learn how mindset affects your child’s approach to challenges and mistakes. - The Science of Mistakes
Research shows that mistakes actually help us learn! Discover how mistakes activate the brain’s learning centers and reinforce understanding. - Mistakes Teach Resilience
Building resilience is key to learning. We’ll explore how mistakes can help kids (and parents!) bounce back and keep trying, no matter the setback. - The Power of Positive Thinking
Simple strategies like using the word “yet” and encouraging positive self-talk can help transform mistakes into opportunities. You’ll also get tips on how to model this for your kids and create a positive learning environment. - Practical Strategies for Embracing Mistakes
From modeling mistakes to teaching kids to see mistakes as learning moments, these tips will help you embrace mistakes in your homeschool.
Simple Ways to Encourage Positive Thinking:
- Start the day with gratitude and affirmations.
- Celebrate small wins and progress.
- Do a daily mindset check-in with your kids.
Recommended Resources for Turning Mistakes into Opportunities:
- Beautiful Oops!
- The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes
- The Most Magnificent Thing
- What Do You Do With a Problem?
- After the Fall
- Y is for Yet: A Growth Mindset Alphabet
These books are great for helping kids (and adults!) understand the power of mistakes and growth.
Tired of feeling not good enough or dealing with perfectionism?
In this episode, we explore how to turn these challenges into opportunities for growth and learning. Mistakes are just a stepping stone toward success!
Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of Positively Homeschooling. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend! Let’s spread the word about transforming struggles into strengths.
Links:
Prefer to read? I’ve put the transcript to this episode below! Let me know if you have any questions 😊
Mistakes Can Equal Opportunities – in Homeschool & Life!
Frustration. Failure. Flop.
These are just a few of the words associated with mistakes.
And, man, these words (and the feelings that go with them) can really do a number on how we think about ourselves, our kids, and our homeschool.
Well, my friend, I have some good things to share with you today that can help you overcome the struggles related to mistakes (like anxiety and perfectionism) and how you can transform these moments into incredible opportunities.
Stick around to learn more about this growth mindset approach to learning and life – and how you can get started with this powerful practice today!
I’m going to sprinkle some positive quotes throughout this episode that I think are fantastic reminders for transforming mistakes (and perfectionism) into opportunities. You can find most of them in this free printable pack of growth mindset quotes (in print and cursive – fantastic for copywork!).
Let’s Revisit Mindset
As I covered in episode 3, your mindset truly impacts your homeschool – well, really everything! Just to make sure that we’re on the same page, I’ll review a bit here:
- What Is a Homeschool Mindset?: A homeschool mindset is a combination of your thoughts, beliefs, and self-talk. These elements shape your homeschooling experience.
- Learning and practicing a positive (or growth-oriented) mindset is a powerful way to make homeschooling more enjoyable for all. Plus, it helps with your relationships, attitudes, and learning.
Carol Dweck, a Stanford psychologist, is the founder of growth mindset theory. In her work, Dweck discovered that when you believe that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort, good strategies, and help from others, you can completely change how you approach challenges, stay motivated, and more.
“The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life.” – Carol Dweck
A growth mindset helps you focus on progress rather than perfection and encourages a positive, supportive approach to learning.
The opposite of a growth mindset is a fixed mindset. It’s when you think your abilities or talents are set and don’t change. You’re either good or bad at something (black-and-white thinking).
So, how does all of this relate to making mistakes?
Well, a Fixed Mindset would be when a child thinks they just are “not good at math” and give up after making a mistake.
For a Growth Mindset, a child tries different strategies, recognizing that struggling with something means they’re learning and celebrating the effort (rather than focusing on results).
A few examples of how these mindsets can occur in your homeschooling are:
- A fixed mindset might make a child say, “I’m terrible at this,” whereas a growth mindset would say, “I don’t understand it yet, but I can keep practicing and get better.”
- For parents, a fixed mindset may lead to thinking, “I’m just not cut out for homeschooling,” while a growth mindset encourages, “I’m learning and improving every day, and I can handle this challenge.”
Growth mindset helps your kids (and you) see mistakes and struggles as part of the learning process rather than something to fear or avoid. It helps build resilience, so you’re more willing to keep going, even when things get hard.
As homeschoolers, we have the awesome ability (and opportunity) to emphasize learning processes over grades or test scores. We can embrace learning as a journey, focusing on small improvements (and wins of all sizes and shapes) and the joy of discovery rather than just the end result.
“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” – Albert Einstein
The Science of Mistakes
Did you know that it’s actually a good thing to make mistakes? Yup! Research even proves it!
In the Journal of Educational Psychology, Wong and Lim show how even making deliberate errors leads to better learning.
Research has shown that making mistakes activates parts of the brain responsible for learning and memory. When we get something wrong, our brains work harder to understand the error and correct it, which strengthens our cognitive abilities.
So, mistakes are actually pathways to deeper understanding. Mistakes help us process information on a deeper level. When we correct our mistakes, we reinforce our understanding and knowledge. It’s an active, constructive learning process.
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford
Also, mistakes give us feedback that we can use in our homeschool (and life) – they don’t mean failure!
When you look at mistakes as valuable information that can guide your next steps, you go from seeing a setback (or failure) to seeing an opportunity to learn what doesn’t work – and figure out what will work next time. It’s fantastic because you can use it for any subject, whether it’s math, reading, or even life skills.
For example: If your child misses a math problem, it’s an opportunity to identify where they didn’t quite understand the concept. From there, you can provide the support or alternative strategies they need to grasp the concept more clearly.
“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein
Mistakes Teach Resilience
Mistakes are a natural part of learning (especially a new concept). With mistakes, you get chances to build resilience. You learn that effort is more important than getting everything right the first time. When you make a mistake and try again, you build your persistence muscles, and that helps both short-term and long-term success.
What is Resilience? Well, it’s learning how to bounce back from mistakes, gathering information about what happened, trying something new, and, mostly, to keep going.
Let me share an example of how resilience has played out in our homeschool adventures: When my oldest was still homeschooling, he had this thing about math. He didn’t think he was any good at it. (He also went to public school for a few years and, unfortunately, brought home some negative experiences that we had to work really hard to overcome). There were SO many times when he just wanted to give up (actually, he wanted to throw his pencil across the room but knew that would make mom not happy).
I used every growth mindset tool that I could think of (and read about) to help him with his fixed mindset about math. I’m so proud to say that he now successfully works in construction where he uses a variety of math skills every single day. He even comes home and helps his younger brothers with their homeschool math!
“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
The Power of Positive Thinking in Your Homeschool
At this point, I hope that you’re thinking, “Amy, all of this sounds amazing! Now, how do I do it?!? Girl, I’ve got you!
Here are 4 things that you can start doing today to help your kids and yourself transform mistakes into opportunities:
- The Power of Yet: This first idea is my absolute favorite. I use this ALL this time in our homeschool. In fact, my boys now quickly guess what I’m going to say before I even have a chance to say it!
- Whenever you or one of your children say something like, “Ugh! This is so hard! I don’t know how to diagram a sentence!”, you simply add on the word YET.
- That one word YET has so much power! Because when we add that to the end of any of our frustrations, whinings, etc., we open the door to possibility and hope and potential.
- Yet is like this switch that goes off in our brain that turns a frustration or mistake into an opportunity to do something about it.
- Positive Self-Talk: A big part in learning and practicing a growth mindset is encouraging positive self-talk, both for yourself and your kids. The way we speak to ourselves shapes how we view ourselves and how we approach challenges. By modeling positive self-talk, you can teach your children to be kind to themselves, especially when things don’t go as planned.
- I do a lot of external self-talk (that I also call parent-teacher conferences and my older boys think is super cringe). If this isn’t a natural thing for you, no worries! Try to be more mindful of opportunities for when you can do it.
- For example, Instead of saying, “I can’t make this pie crust,” try saying something like, “I haven’t figured it out yet, but I’m going to keep trying.”
- And when one of your kids is struggling, encourage them to say, “This is tricky, but I’m learning and I’ll get better at it with practice.”
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” – Henry Ford
- Teach Kids to See Mistakes as Opportunities: Or, as I like to say, reframe mistakes. When a child makes a mistake (and they will!), instead of expressing disappointment, point out how the mistake is a stepping stone to success.
- With this idea, you may need to do a few calming or anger management techniques before jumping to point this out. It’s always important to help your child get centered and regain calm before working on a growth mindset step. I can talk more about these types of techniques soon!
- For example, if a child struggles with a spelling word, instead of focusing on the mistake, celebrate their effort and point out that this is a great chance to learn. Then, look at the word together and encourage your child to find the differences – and what they can do next time.
“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” – Henry Ford
- Focus on the Process, Not Just the Result
With homeschooling, you get to focus on the process of learning rather than just the final outcome or grade.- When children (and parents!) feel pressure to get everything right, they may become afraid of making mistakes. To counteract this, celebrate effort, creativity, and resilience.
- Praise for Effort: Celebrate the fact that they tried, worked hard, or stayed focused, even if the outcome wasn’t perfect. Oh, and this is a great time to point out any details or things that you noticed your child doing! Like, if your child wrinkles up their nose when working on a math problem, you could say, “Wow! I can see how hard you’re working right now – your nose is all wrinkled up and you’re really focusing!”
- Use phrases like, “I’m so proud of how you kept going even when it got tough,” or “I can see how much effort you’re putting into this.”
Practical Strategies for Embracing Mistakes in Homeschooling
Okay, so we know mistakes are going to happen because they’re a part of learning. But, what do you really do when a mistake happens? Here are some practical things to try:
- Work on Ownership of Mistakes
- Encouraging children to take responsibility for their mistakes without fear or shame. When kids can admit they made a mistake and see it as a chance to improve (and not get in trouble), they build confidence and accountability.
- Explain to your kids that mistakes are a normal part of learning. After a mistake, ask questions like, “What happened?” and “What can you do differently next time?” This helps them take ownership of their learning journey.
“The expert in anything was once a beginner.” – Helen Hayes
- Model Mistakes as Part of the Learning Process
- As a homeschool mom, you have the unique opportunity to show your kids that even adults make mistakes and learn from them. When you model mistakes as part of the process, it normalizes them and reduces fear.
- You can share personal stories of mistakes you’ve made and what you learned from them. Let your children see that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s the learning that matters, not the perfection.
- Use Mistakes as Teachable Moments
- Every mistake your child makes can be turned into a teachable moment. Instead of viewing a mistake as a problem to fix, see it as a chance to help your child develop their problem-solving skills and emotional resilience.
- Ask open-ended questions that lead to self-reflection and critical thinking. For example, after a mistake, ask, “What could you try next time to solve this?” or “What did you learn from this mistake?”
- Example: If a child makes a mistake in a history project, guide them in reflecting on how they can adjust their approach. You could ask, “What part of your project could use more research?” or “How might you organize your information differently?”
Overcoming the Fear of Mistakes
Let me start this part by saying that this is an area that I’ve had to work on A LOT as a homeschool mom and as a human being. When I was a child, I had so much anxiety – and most of that was because I thought I had to be perfect. I was totally a Type A! I often joke that I got into psychology and counseling to help myself!
Why does the fear of mistakes hold us back so much? Fear of mistakes often comes from a fear of failure or embarrassment.
For parents and kids, the pressure to get everything “right” can create anxiety, leading to avoidance or shutting down when challenges arise. This fear can prevent us from taking risks and fully embracing the learning process.
So, how do we deal with this fear? We acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes – it’s a part of life and learning. The key is learning from them and moving forward.
With our kids, we can say something like: “Sometimes, we worry about getting things wrong, but guess what? Making mistakes helps us grow and become stronger. We don’t need to be perfect – we just need to keep going.”
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Nelson Mandela
Also, we create a safe space for making mistakes. Kids (and parents) need to feel safe to take risks and make mistakes. If we’re afraid of getting something wrong, we may avoid challenges altogether. The key is to create an environment where mistakes are not only accepted but embraced.
This is when we encourage your children to explore new things, even if they might make mistakes. Let them know that trying something new (and possibly failing) is okay as long as they learn and grow from it.
From our homeschool, I can use my 13-year old as an example. He has a tendency to shy away from challenges. Academic stuff comes pretty naturally for him. But, whenever I’d bring up extracurricular activities (like sports), he’d balk. When he expressed interest in learning how to play the guitar, I was over the moon.
He kept having all of these reasons why he shouldn’t or couldn’t start. I could tell that he really wanted to play but had things like perfectionism holding him back. He wanted to immediately “get it right”.
So, I started listening to all different types of guitarists with him. And reading about how they got started – by practicing a lot!
He finally agreed to give guitar a try when I told him, “Listen, you don’t have to be the best or do it perfectly. Just give it a try because you want to and see where it goes.”
Well, I’m very happy to report that he got bit by the guitar bug and has embraced making mistakes (in fact, he now loves to make mistakes on it so he can see how to improve).
Okay, back to overcoming fears of mistakes…
It’s important to teach kids how to bounce back. Let your kids (and yourself) know that it’s perfectly normal to feel disappointed and upset. And that a mistake doesn’t define who you are. You can pick yourself up and try again!
This is where it’s great to give your children space to express themselves without judgment. Listen – and then help them transform their thoughts by saying something like, “I know you’re frustrated that the project didn’t turn out as expected, but guess what? Every mistake brings us closer to understanding and success. Let’s think about what we can do next time.”
“Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.” – Chinese Proverb
How to Encourage Positive Thinking in Your Homeschool
Here are some simple yet powerful ways to enjoy positive thinking in your homeschool:
- Starting with Gratitude
A simple gratitude practice can have a big impact on your mindset – and help create a positive tone for the day. When you start your homeschool day with gratitude, it sets the stage for both parents and kids to appreciate the opportunities for learning.- You can do something like start each homeschool day by sharing one thing they’re grateful for or one thing they’re excited about learning that day.
- An example of this could be: “I’m grateful for the chance to learn new things with you today. What are you excited to learn?”
- Using Affirmations
- Affirmations are excellent tools for shifting your mindset. These positive self-statements can help turn self-doubt and negative thinking into motivation and empowerment.
- You can find FREE printable sets of affirmations for homeschool kids and homeschool moms over on the blog, rockyourhomeschool.net. I’ll share links to all in the show notes.
- Some examples of affirmations:
- “I am capable of learning new things, even when it’s difficult.”
- “Mistakes help me grow and learn.”
- “I am proud of the effort I put into my work.”
“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – A.A. Milne
- Celebrating Small Wins and Progress
Celebrating small wins throughout the day helps build momentum and reinforces the idea that progress, no matter how small, is worth celebrating. This encourages your kids to keep trying, even when things feel challenging.- At the end of each lesson (or school day), take a moment to reflect on the small victories. What did you learn? What did your child overcome? Celebrate the effort and the perseverance.
- For example, “Today, you worked so hard on that math problem, and I saw you not give up when it got tricky. That’s a huge win!”
- Daily Mindset Check-Ins with Yourself and Your Kids
A daily mindset check-in is a simple way to stay focused on positive thinking. Check in with your kids and yourself to see how everyone is feeling about their learning and progress. This step helps create a space for reflection and growth.- At the end of each school day, ask everyone to reflect on what went well and where they learned something new, even if it involved making a mistake.
- For example, “What’s one thing you learned today? How did we handle mistakes, and what will we do differently tomorrow?”
“It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius
Recommended Resources for Turning Mistakes into Opportunities
Books are brilliant ways to help even little ones get a better idea of positive thinking. Some of our favorite growth mindset books are:
- Beautiful Oops!
- The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes
- The Most Magnificent Thing
- What Do You Do With a Problem?
- After The Fall (a Humpty Dumpty continuation)
- Y is for Yet: A Growth Mindset Alphabet
Beautiful Oops!After the Fall (How Humpty Dumpty Got Back Up Again)The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes: A Growth Mindset Book for Kids to Promote Self EsteemThe Most Magnificent ThingWhat Do You Do With a Problem? — New York Times best sellerY Is for Yet: A Growth Mindset Alphabet
I encourage you to see if your library has these titles. I own these books and have them in a basket in our homeschool area. We still use these books whenever we need them (and my 3 active homeschoolers who grew up on these books are 10, 13, and 15!).
Whew! Thanks for hanging in with me there! I can talk all day about different ways to use a growth mindset and positive thinking in your homeschool. Please let me know if you have any questions about how to transform mistakes into opportunities. I’ll be happy to help!
Oh, and I think this quote is a great way to wrap up this episode:
“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
Well my friend, that does it for another episode of Positively Homeschooling. If you enjoyed this podcast, I ask that you please share it with a friend or two. Your sharing means so much – thank you!